Sometimes a pregnancy does not end up how you expected it, and a child may be lost either during the pregnancy, during labor or after birth. If you have experienced a miscarriage, your grief is very real and legitimate and you should seek out support and help to deal with your grief. Some fetuses die in the uterus at the very end of pregnancy, and you may have to deliver a stillborn baby. This can be an extremely difficult situation, especially during and after labor. Sometimes the baby will die during delivery or after birth, which allows you to hold your baby and even name it. You might bring your new baby home and settle in—only to find the baby suffered from SIDS, or another tragedy. The fact is that no matter how you look at it, losing a child is devastating.

Holding a memorial service, either private or with friends and family, will help you to celebrate the life of your child and to gain some closure to the experience. Talking about your loss and seeking support from your partner, family and friends will also help you to deal with your feelings of grief and despair. Remember that your partner also experienced a loss, and communication may be difficult. You both may need to seek support from other sources while taking care of each other. Sometimes the best support comes from other mothers like yourself. Look into the support groups available at your hospital to find out if there is a coping support group with other mothers who have lost their babies. Allow yourself time to grieve, and cry. Don’t put a limit on these feelings—they may last for a very long time. If you decide to have another child, realize that you will always have sadness for your lost child, but you can also have hope for the future.